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Long pole in the tent

During a call this morning, I learned that the long pole in the tent was creating market overhang. They could be so behind schedule because of their inappropriate attention to their touch two. I’m sorry, but isn’t it too early in the morning for such homoerotic imagery?

We also had to play an entertaining game of “Guess the mouthbreather” during this call. My money is on the long pole.

Jargtastic article by BBC

Going forward, we expect idea showers from our product evangelists for new ways to protect our core competency from platform atheists.  We may have to incentivize our key influencers when we touch base about that offline.  I’ll be sure to loop back with you to make sure you know I’ve got you on my radar about your thought leadership vis a vis the low-hanging fruit.  At the end of the day, if we give 110% our 360-degree thinking will let us get all of our ducks in a row about our delivery pipeline in this space.  Otherwise, our really cool train set can be cascaded through the organization, despite the reduction in force.

Hey look, there’s my lunch again!

Read the full BBC article.

1 + 1 makes me go number 2

“When 1 + 1 = 3″ 

Deep inside the headquarters of the American Marketing Associations exists an exact replica of the Wheel of Fortune set.  However, there is one key difference:  the giant wheel is marked not with dollar amounts or “Win a free cruise.”  Instead, it is divided into labels like “synergy,” “results-driven,” “core competency,” “out-of-the-box,” and “mission-critical.”  ALL decisions at the AMA are made by a spin of this wheel.  As a result, Tim received the invitation below this morning.1plus1equalsbs

I’m quite certain that during this webcast, you can learn how to work smarter, not harder.

I wonder if Richard Meier or <insert any jargtastically-aware architect here> appreciates the term “architect” thrown around as a verb.  I mean, does he realize that a bunch of marketing 3.0ers (to use Tim’s term) are bastardizing the honorable title of “architect” as they refer to producing their own – ahem – creative works?  Somehow I just can’t see Meier or one of his esteemed colleagues dropping language like this:

untitled3.JPG

Spill a drink on me

dry martini

“‘Dry Martini?’ Sweet”, I thought to myself-”maybe there’s a new day dawning, where tech-speak enters a more user-friendly, accessible and dare I say, hip, age? ‘Dry Martini’ is the name of a virtual private network? Cool. So regular people can understand and maybe even want to get one? Nice! It’s about time. Sound knowledgeable and hip at your next networking mixer? That’s a huge bonus. Chicks dig guys who are knowledgeable and not boring.”

So I did a little research. Turns out Martini is the name of the developer. Uh oh, red flag. Then I read an interview with this Martini fella:

Light Reading: Do you think there are issues with VPLS?

Martini: The major problem with VPLS is the management of the service…So my question is: Why not just do Layer 3 MPLS VPNs? VPLS does not scale. I think these efforts are a recreation of ATM LAN emulation. People never really deployed LAN-E, and VPLS does the same thing. It is similar to LAN-E, except it has been simplified somewhat. But it’s still very difficult to manage, and I don’t think that carriers will find it profitable to do this.

Light Reading: Do you think that it would make more sense to use RFC 2547 to create Layer 3 MPLS VPNs?

Martini: Yes, or you could create a mesh of Layer 2 VPN tunnels. Layer 2 lets you create point-to-point tunnels, so that you can manage both ends – it’s much easier.

Never mind.

geek martini

Just when I thought we were getting a lull in the written diarrhea dump of “2.0″ references I received the mother of all TwoDotOh emails. Five - yes, count em, five - references to “2.0″ in one email. My favorite is the new to me “Government 2.0″, followed by the innovative “The Next Generation” attention grabber. That copy writer should give him/herself a well deserved pat on the back for a job well done.

2.0

Sanitizing

Definition:  Who the hell knows?

After a rough round of penetration testing, IT has left me feeling like I need to sanitize my user input.  Check out the excerpt below from an IT email.

Sanitizing my data

Thank Gawd for IT, though.  If it wasn’t for their emails and conference calls, I would never be motivated to write new blog posts.

Results-driven approach

To plan and implement a project with the goal of achieving positive results or success.

I love this one.   Using an approach that will most likely lead to success?  I mean, how novel!

Personally, I’ve adopted an appear to look busy approach.  It makes me look good to the bosses and before they realize the mistake in their perceptions, it’s too late.

FWIW

For What It’s Worth

For the love of jeebus, can we come up with any more acronyms?  It took me one second longer to type out “For what its worth” than it did to type out FWIW.  It took way longer to Google FWIW.  One guess which department sent an email with this gem.  If you guessed IT then you win a free taco.

Today is a sad day. This is what’s become of literature originally designed to inform and instruct:

In this case, the PBEB-A encapsulates S-VID 100 traffic by adding a B-DA value of PBEB-D, a B-SA value of PBEB-A, a B-VID value of 4001 (primary or purple tunnel), and the I-SID value of 10000. This MAC header encapsulated traffic is forwarded to PB Core Bridge-C (PBCB-C). PBCB-C has been configured to not learn or flood traffic on B-VID 4001, which has been reserved for PBB-TE use.

I’ll buy you a drink if you can decipher this paragraph. Maybe these guys would know what it means:
Nerds

 

 

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