A collaborative, synergistic, Web 2.0 online community leveraging white board thought leadership
Posted in business speak, marketing speak, slang on Aug 4th, 2008
During a call this morning, I learned that the long pole in the tent was creating market overhang. They could be so behind schedule because of their inappropriate attention to their touch two. I’m sorry, but isn’t it too early in the morning for such homoerotic imagery?
We also had to play an entertaining […]
Posted in business speak on Jun 17th, 2008
Going forward, we expect idea showers from our product evangelists for new ways to protect our core competency from platform atheists. We may have to incentivize our key influencers when we touch base about that offline. I’ll be sure to loop back with you to make sure you know I’ve got you on my radar […]
Posted in business speak, marketing speak on May 21st, 2008
“When 1 + 1 = 3″
Deep inside the headquarters of the American Marketing Associations exists an exact replica of the Wheel of Fortune set. However, there is one key difference: the giant wheel is marked not with dollar amounts or “Win a free cruise.” Instead, it is divided into labels like “synergy,” “results-driven,” “core competency,” […]
Posted in Tech Speak, business speak on May 21st, 2008
“‘Dry Martini?’ Sweet”, I thought to myself-”maybe there’s a new day dawning, where tech-speak enters a more user-friendly, accessible and dare I say, hip, age? ‘Dry Martini’ is the name of a virtual private network? Cool. So regular people can understand and maybe even want to get one? Nice! It’s about time. Sound knowledgeable and […]
Posted in business speak on May 7th, 2008
To plan and implement a project with the goal of achieving positive results or success.
I love this one. Using an approach that will most likely lead to success? I mean, how novel!
Personally, I’ve adopted an appear to look busy approach. It makes me look good to the bosses and before they realize the mistake in […]
Posted in business speak on Apr 29th, 2008
Onboarding (verb).
Formal definition - The orientation process for new employees. The time when the new employee learns about the department and the company, benefits, policies, etc.
Realistic definition - The corporate equivalent of waterboarding. The time when the company tries to suffocate the new employee with archaic terms, ridiculous policies and fantastic […]
Posted in Tech Speak, business speak on Apr 24th, 2008
If you are going to use jargon, at least be creative about it like this guy.
