A collaborative, synergistic, Web 2.0 online community leveraging white board thought leadership
Nerd herd (noun)
A term used primarily by marketing executives to describe anyone not in a marketing role. It is usually applied to those in IT or engineering jobs.
This is a great term that invokes the image of dozens of programmers with their eyes glued to the screen….until suddenly their heads snap to attention as someone on the other side of the building mentions Battlestar Gallactica.
May 1st, 2008 by Tim
I just received my 10am meeting reminder and pissed my pants when I read the title of the meeting, “DR Filer Capabilties Level Setting”. What the F? How dare you? I feel violated for having to attend in the first place. However, I am impressed with his jargtastic capabilities.
UPDATE NOW THAT THE MEETING IS DONE:
So apparently we’ll “snap to the .NET side because the z-filer 0 is not available”.
Huh? Thanks for clarifying. I’m now totally LEVEL SET.
Apr 29th, 2008 by Cory
Onboarding (verb).
Formal definition - The orientation process for new employees. The time when the new employee learns about the department and the company, benefits, policies, etc.
Realistic definition - The corporate equivalent of waterboarding. The time when the company tries to suffocate the new employee with archaic terms, ridiculous policies and fantastic HR videos that are likely shown to prisoners in Gitmo. Exposing the employee to a high level of social stress and inane bullshit to determine his or her breaking point.
Apr 24th, 2008 by Cory
If you are going to use jargon, at least be creative about it like this guy.
Apr 23rd, 2008 by Cory
“The Big IP is very powerful.” - Our IT Security Department.
Apparently there is a magical entity that lives somewhere between the first and second floor of our building. It’s name I hear is “the Big IP,” and it is unstoppable. Few knew that the Nazi’s searched endlessly for the Big IP during the 1930s and 40s. Thank God they never found it because the terror would have been unimaginable.
The Big IP can only be controlled by a reclusive sect of networking monks that are rarely seen outside of their lair. To conjure it, they must don their wizard hats and magical blue Mr. Rogers sweater vests. These monks must be treated with respect because he who controls the Big IP controls life and destiny itself.
Even though I’m guilty of using it, it still makes me cringe a bit. However, I did just think of a great new way to annoy my friends, coworkers, family and neighbors. I’m going to do my best to verbalize “LOL” in at least one conversation each day. A friend just told me that she broke up with a boyfriend because he did that. Frequently. Not to be funny, but because he thought it was cool. Such an offense demands some form of corporal punishment.
Apr 16th, 2008 by Tim
I feel that I am twice blessed in my exposure to corporate jargon: not only do I work in a bleeding-edge, thought-leader of a high-tech company, but I also collaborate, brainstorm, brain-dump and blamestorm with a group of savvy marketing 3.0-ers. I actually really like it here. Just for grins, I decided to drop the following mid-interjection during a meeting that included fellow jargatistic authors - I hope they got the inside joke.
“We aren’t in bed with them yet, so we will launch a cuddle promo for on-boarding.” It was time to open the kimono.
